work work work

i guess im luckier than alot of people - i love my job. I love hanging out with kids and meeting all sorts of different families. My work with the acocp is even more rewarding - some of the families I meet are more resiliant and loving and positive than I could ever be.

It is comming up to two years since i saw Siobhans post on her idea to start an australian branch of the ACPCG. I snet her and email and just started bugging her for ways i could help. a year later and a hell of a lot of red tape, blood, sweat and tears the ACOCP officially launched ths may with around 15 photographers. ts hard to believe that its been 6 months. One of my good friends Lee got our very first call out in newcastle got the sad news this week that the little boy she worked with past away. My first call out was on mothers day. The family didnt want to bother me on mothers day but their little girls started chemo the very next day and was likely to loose all her beautiful hair. I was so nervous but the family was just incredible. They were actually good friends of my very first clients - all 3 of us parents of twins - and had been meaning to hire me for ages, but it was never a good time. It was hard for me. I came home and hugged my girls so tight. But i just kept thinking how hard it must be for them to go home on mothers day while their little girl has to stay in hospital. My next call our was even more confronting...with premmie stillborn twins (it seems i have a thing for attractng twins).

For this part im going to jump back a few years. after having our 2nd daughter we knew we wanted more children. when maddy was just a few weeks old we fell pregnant. t was a shock (a HUGE shock) but we were happy. unfortunately at 12 weeks pregnant we lost the baby. it was pretty devestating to say the least. but it was just the start. due to complication was told i might not be able to have anymore children naturally so 2 years later when we found out I was expecting I was over the moon. at 18 weeks we were told we were expecting not one, but two litte girls. apart from beng terrified we were naturally thrilled to be adding to our family. At 25 weeks everything changed. while i had been getting contractions my entire pregnancy things changed and i was rushed to hosptal in suspected prem labour. I lay in the hospital bed as people rushed around. an air ambulance was booked for me as our small town hospital didnt have any NICU facilities and could only handle 32 weeks +. We were told it would just be me in the plane and ryan would have to make his own way to sydney. we were told they would be delivered the next day by cesarian. i didnt know what to think. i thought alot about ryans little brother Joshua - who was born at 25 weeks and lived just an hour. I wondered how i would cope haveing to go home without my babies. if they had to be in hospital long term in sydney where would we stay? how would we afford living in sydney and keeping our house in coffs? what about our other two girls. about midday a nurse came into speak to me and i begged her to tell me what was going on and what the reality was. she told me to prepare for the worst. their lungs were not mature enough, they were so little - even if they did make it it would be a struggle for the rest of their lives. it was then i knew i had to make a decsion to get totally freaked out and know the stress would push my labour along or to essentally let go and let god....im not religous at all - but i begged, prayed, anything and everything that day. at about 9pm the air ambulance touched down and everything stopped. i stayed in hospital for a week before being allowed to go home on strict bedrest. at this stage evey day they stayed put was a better chance. our first goal was 28 weeks - when they stood a good chance of survival. then 30 - then 32 (knowing then we wouldnt have to fly out to have them). 35 weeks rolled around and my doctor allowed me to come off all the medicatons - he said "guess well see you and L&D tonight" - 2 weeks later i was induced as they wouldnt come LOL. at 7:47 on December the 8th Audrey Jean was welcomed into the world at a very healthy and happy 7lb4oz followed just 10 minutes later (7:57) by Harriet Elsie who weighed in at 7lb 2.5oz. 7 days later we went home. we were the lucky ones.

multiple births are high risk. anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves. Twins may be standard issue these day with so many turning to fertility drugs to conceive, but dont for a second think it will be an easy ride. I was young, healthy, fit, non smoker and i stll almost lost them. so my heart went out to the family of the twins I was called to photograph. The sesson itself was fine. I just did my work. when i got home however i slept for 7 hours straight. dont think i have ever felt so emotionally drained. then i still had to edit the images.

it can be an extremely confronting and emotonal experience. But at the end of the day we get to go home to our beautiful healthy children.

Today was a big work day for me wthin the charity. I do mostly admin stuff these days - and there is alot of it. We have recently forged a relationship with a childrens hospice and we got a call out today. A bubba - just a few months old - who is not expected to live long. The mum had been wanting photographs of her beautiful babe for awhile, but feared how a photographer would react to a child that had oxygen and feeding tubes. Tears welled up while typing that. I cant imagine ever telling a parent - im sorry those tubes freak me out so you cant have photos of your precious child. I really need to make a note on my website that I am available for work with any special needs children. I am just so upset by that. we need to spread the word more about our work and I know our work wth this centre will help that.

I have also bee trying to gain some corperate sponsorship - but apparently we are not big enough to justify most companies having any interest in us. We may have made a break through wth a major lab who may cover either all or some of the cost of prints. At the moment all (and i mean all) admin expenses come out of the pockets of myself and siobhan. Photographers cover the cost of prints from their sessions. If this lab can help out with that it means we can take some of the fnanical burden off our photographers which wll allow them to not worry so much about how many sessions they can afford to do and open up our services to more families in need.

we now have 45 photographers australia wide in every state (bar tasmania). We attend approximately 3-4 sessions a week with our brisbane photogs contstantly busy and we are stll virtually unknown!!!! I cant believe how far we have come already from that one line on her website. i get asked alot by people how i manage to find the time. I guess we all have to make a decision in our lives what is important to us. For me I believe the only way to change the world is one persona t a time. if everyone just did what they could the world would be a better place. anyway enough of that sap now.

onto random life stuff....so tonight i go down tot he girls room to look for something and there are my twinnies....sprawled out on the bed....minus pants and underwear LMAO. did a double take. man those kids crack me up. ther eldest sister was still awake and just about wet herself when she saw.

Our eldest daughter is currently partially deaf. it results in more yelling that ths house currently needs and alot of "pardon?" from her.

miss maddy lost her 3rd tooth last nght while showing down on halloween lollies LOL and was sooooooooooooooooooo excted when the tooth fairy left her a dollar.

i took some photos the other night but as im am still knee deep in proofing for clients they will have to wait for another time.

Jess

Pete Murray - Opportunity

And so it goes another lonely day
Your savin time but your miles away
Your fly was drownin in some bitter tea
For seeing lost opportunity

Find your mirror go and look inside
And see the talent you always hide
Don't go kidd yourself well not today
Satisfaction's not to far away

Hold on now your exits here
It's waiting just for you
Don't pause too long
It's fading now
It's ending all too soon you'll see

Soon you'll see

Your coffee's warm but your milk is sour
Life is short but your here to flower
Dream yourself along another day
Never miss opportunity

Don't be scared of what you cannot see
Your only fear is possibility
Never wonder what the hell went wrong
Your second chance may never come along

Hold on now your exits here
It's waiting just for you
Don't pause too long
It's fading now
It's ending all too soon you'll see

Soon you'll see

Hold on now your exits here
It's waiting just for you
Don't pause too long
It's fading now
It's ending all too soon you'll see

Soon you'll see